They Never Said Life Would Be Easy
by lilamz57
Summary: 'They never said life would be easy they just promised it would be worth it'. Bella Swan found herself pregnant at 17 and forced to live with her dad in the little town of Forks. We follow her story through a series of letters she writes to her daughter about the trials and tribulations of being a young mum. Romance ensues with the kind Edward Cullen when he steps in as a father AH
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note: so this is an idea that I had that would not go away. I welcome any feedback. Also, I want to apologise in advance for any information that is incorrect, I am only 18 so know nothing about babies and their development. I will do my best to research things but I cannot guarantee it will be perfect. Anyway on with the story: **

Saturday 10th September 2011. 

So my therapist thinks that this will help as I do not enjoy talking about my emotions. I have been told that it might help to write to someone about how I am feeling but there is no one else so baby it has to be you. Today you came into the world after a good 12 hours of established labour and nearly 3 days of contractions. I have waited so long to see you angel and although it may just be us we are just fine. The point of this is that I talk about how I feel and to be honest princess mummy is petrified. They have flown us across the country to a small town in Washington called Forks. We are all alone but we will be fine together.

One day you are going to ask me where your father is and I am going to have to be honest and tell you that he wasn't a very nice man. That's how we ended up here in the middle of nowhere. When we met he was the nicest person ever but once we moved in together things changed. Looking back I should have left a long time ago I just couldn't bring myself to do it. That is until I found out about you. He could do what he liked to me but I will be damned if I let him lay a finger on you. As a result, when he was at work I packed up my stuff and ran. At 17 there are not many places you can go. I ended up at the police station where they contacted my parents. They both turned up with my step dad in tow. I got a lecture about everything that had happened and they hadn't even found out about you yet. I contemplated not telling them about you but decided it would probably be best to get everything out in the open. So to cut a long story short mum did not want the responsibility of a baby and that is how we ended up here with Charlie.

He has gone to get some fresh air apparently the blood doesn't agree with him. We have been left here on our own for the first time baby girl and I must admit it is a little bit scary. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that at 17 I would be a single mother without a high school degree. I wouldn't change you for anything in the world always remember that. Everything I do I do it for you angel; absolutely everything to make you happy and proud. I am going to do my best to be the best mum that I can possibly be for you. Due to my age social services have to be involved to ensure that I don't do anything that is detrimental towards you.

Mary is really nice a lot nicer than my social worker in Phoenix. Mary gets me to some extent. She too comes from what she likes to call '_a broken home_'. She is keen that I talked to someone but it is so much easier to just write it down in this journal as if I am writing to you.

I love you so much my little sweetheart and I know you love me too. Our bond is unconditional and will last forever. Aimee Louise Swan. Aimee: from the French word meaning beloved; and that you are my beautiful. Louise: a famous warrior; something that you will need to be as you grow up sweetheart. Whatever happens we will be fighting together and I will always be on your side no matter what happens.

The doctor here is really nice. His name is Dr Cullen, or as he likes me to call him Carlisle. He knows my dad, your granddad, very well and has taken to us too. He is making sure that we get the best care possible. The nurses here are great too; they are ensuring that I know everything that we need to before we go home.

So far they have taught me how to nurse you; burp you; bathe you; change you and swaddle you in blankets. Trying to remember it all is a little overwhelming right now but I am sure that soon we will get the hang of it and everything will be fine.

Carlisle's son turned up at the hospital today with something from his wife, that is Dr Cullen's wife, not his sons. His son looks about the same age as me but far better looking. He has this beautiful bronze hair that he kept running his fingers through. The deep green pools that you could get lost in. He didn't have huge muscles but you could tell he was well-toned. He wore a tight black t-shirt and figure hugging jeans. He had to be the best looking guy I have ever met. I blame the chemistry on the hormones though. They make you do lots of crazy things.

Since I have been in Forks I have met Carlisle's daughter Alice. Alice is a force to be reckoned with. She is feisty but loyal. We met and became instant best friends; I have never really had very many female friends before but this is a refreshing change. I have yet to meet their son; Edward is his name but he never seems to be home when I am round there. I have to admit that I am a little cynical and that part of me thinks that maybe he is avoiding me. I mean I know that I am not the prettiest girl but I am not ugly. I suppose that I probably am now that I am a mum. Not many guys are going to want me now.

Anyway baby you are calling for your mummy to feed you so I must go. I shall write again soon.

Love you always and forever,

Isabella Marie Swan (that's mummy to you)

Xxx

**Authors Note: let me know what you think. Any advice is welcomed. I do not have a set update time as I have a lot of college work at the moment. The more reviews the quicker the updates. Xxx **


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors Note: I am wowed by the response that I received for this story. I will try to update this story as much as possible but I can't make any guarantees as it depends on my workload at college. On with the chapter: **

Sunday 11th September 2011 

Doctor Cullen came to see me last night to check me over to make sure that I am physically healthy enough to go home. He has deemed me so which is both good and bad. Good because I really hate hospitals and can't wait to be out of here. Bad because I will have to take care of you by myself and trust me when I say that is a scary thought. No offense Aimee but I mean I can barely take care of myself let alone another human being completely dependent on me but I will do my best for you. My father however, is a traitor. He has decided that as a welcome home celebration we would have the Cullen's over for dinner. Not that I have anything against the Cullen's it is just that there will be more people judging me on my parenting skills and more importantly me and Edward will have to sit in the same room when it is clear that he doesn't like me in any way shape or form. It is going to be so awkward.

Plus when Esme (Dr Cullen's wife) came to visit me in the hospital yesterday she kept trying to take over and I really want to prove to people I can do this on my own. I mean it is not like I don't like the help and support it is just there are a lot of people out there that are banking on me failing as a mother and I will be damned if I don't prove them wrong. They say that once you are a mother that instinct takes over and I am not going to lie when you cry I do get this need to comfort you. I always want to be close to you and cuddle you and not share you with anyone else. It is times like this that I both resent and love the fact that I am doing this alone. I love it because I get you all to myself. I don't have to share you or have anyone else claim you as theirs because you are MY little girl. But I resent it because I can't help but wonder what it would have been like to do this when I was older and married. To be sitting here with my husband both nervous about the prospect of taking you home. Someone to share the night feeds with; someone to moan and yell at because we are both exhausted. Our own house with a big garden where you can run and play. I really shouldn't let my mind wonder to what ifs because they will never happen. None of that is true. It is just you and me in this battle sweetheart and we are going to have to fight our whole lives.

After I woke up this morning the paediotrition came down to check on you before we went home. Then I got you fed, changed and dressed before getting myself ready. At around 11 we were discharged and Charlie or I suppose granddad to you came and took us home. We took the short drive from the hospital to home. Now this is only like a 10-15 minute drive but today it felt like it took hours. I don't think I have ever been so scared in all my entire life. I am scared that I am going to mess you up just like the social workers and statistics say I will and if I do Aimee I am truly sorry as it was never my intention. I always wanted my children to have the life that I never did but I am not completely sure I can give you that. I will do my best to give you everything you deserve and so much more but that may not always be possible.

Once we got home I got you out the car and as soon as we get inside this is it the start of our life together. Dad has work so straight away we are left on our own to fend for ourselves. For a while I just lay on the sofa with you in my arms cradling you close. I never ever want to leave you. After a little while I place you in the bassinet and decide I need to get some school work done so that I don't fall too far behind. Whilst I wait for my laptop to load up I go into the kitchen bringing the baby monitor with me to make myself lunch. I make myself a simple sandwich as I am too tired to do anything extravagant. I place my sandwich on the table and pick you up out of the basinet. I lay you on the sofa next to me. I pick up my sandwich and eat it all the while rubbing your tummy gently as you gurgle and coo away. Once my sandwich is finished I place the plate back on the coffee table and pick up my laptop.

I am taking online classes this semester with the prospect of maybe going back to high school next semester. I log onto the site that sets my work and has all the presentations on the information that I need. I decide to start with my favourite subject English. Much to my delight my first piece of work is an essay on Romeo and Juliet. We have to write two essays one titled: Discuss the character of Romeo and his infatuation with Rosaline. Does this weaken the credibility of the love he feels for Juliet? And the other titled: Examine the role of women in _Romeo and Juliet_.

I lift you up and we traipse upstairs to find my battered copy of Romeo and Juliet. Once we reach my room I stop and lift you up showing you the room. "This is your room too Aimee; we are going to have lots of lovely memories in this room. Lots of cuddles and bed time stories. One day though baby girl mummy will make sure that you have your own room. You can decorate it just the way you want it." I pause in my story long enough to walk to my old rocking chair and sit down. I begin to rock us back and forward as I continue, "one day beautiful maybe you will have a daddy and mummy a husband. Someone big and strong but not too big. Someone loyal and protective to look after us. He might even have bronze hair and green eyes just like the guy mummy likes right now. He will never like mummy back so don't get your hopes up but maybe someday he might be ours."

I get back up and grab the book that we came up for. We head back down the stairs back to the sofa so we can get on with our schoolwork. As I begin to reread the play I lay you on my chest as I lay on the sofa. Soon I am immersed in the world of forbidden love. Suddenly my attention is drawn back to you as your breathing speeds up and the crying starts. I glance up at the clock and see that it has been 4 hours since your last feed. I sit up and feed you. Once you are fed I decide to change your nappy before I get back into my work.

The rest of the day proceeded in the same fashion. At 5 dad arrived home and said "Bells, the Cullen's will be here in one hour!"

"Okay," I say back trying to be quiet and not wake you up. I continued on with my work. The doorbell goes but I am so engrossed in my essay I leave it for my dad to get. He lets the Cullen's in and then ushers them into the living room. I can feel their eyes on me as I lay across the whole of the sofa with you and my book on my chest and my laptop on my lap. I realise that I look horrendous; I am wearing sweats and a baggy t-shirt and my hair is completely tangled from the amount of times that I have pushed my fingers through it. I go to move to make space for everyone to sit when Esme stops me. "Don't worry dear we will make it work, you stay just where you are." I look at her and nod in agreement. They probably think I am a terrible mum sitting here on my laptop so I feel the need to defend myself.

"I just wanted to get some school work done and I must of lost track of time. I didn't mean to still be doing this when you all got here."

Everyone makes idle chit chat whilst we wait for dinner to be delivered. Just before dinner I lay you down in your basinet and go use the bathroom. When I return from the bathroom everyone is sitting at the table and the only seat left is between Edward and Alice. Begrudgingly I take my seat next to Edward. He turns towards me "I'm Edward Cullen I don't believe we have had the pleasure of meeting yet. You must be Bella" he holds his hand out for me to shake. Hesitantly I take it and shake his hand. I must ask you princess how can one man be so perfect. We continue through dinner with more chatter. After dinner everyone goes back into the living room, I grab you and decide to head to bed. I said goodnight to everyone including Edward who gave me a kiss on the cheek and told me that we needed to get to know each other better.

That brings me to where we are now baby girl. Laying in mummy's bed having your bedtime feed and cuddle. Once you have finished your feed I get out an old copy of 'Guess How Much I Love You' and read the story to you. By the time I reach the end of the story you are asleep so I lay you in your cot and tuck myself in to write this letter to you. All I can think about is Edward Cullen and why he would want to get to know me better? Oh well I guess we will never know.

Love you always and forever

Bella (mum)

Xxx

**Authors Note: so there you have it chapter 2. Feel free to let me know what you think and I promise that Edward and Bella will start to get closer soon. Check out my other story as well A Trip Down Memory Lane. Reviews make me happy and update quicker so please drop me a line **** xxx **


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors Note: hey everyone sorry I have been so busy I haven't had time to write. Thank you for sticking with me guys. Thanks to all those who have followed and added this story to their favourites list. Here we go guys: **

Saturday 17th September 2011

Hello again angel, I know it has been a while since I last wrote you but have been keeping mummy busy. I spend my days feeding, bathing, changing and bonding with you. When you are asleep I try to keep up with my schoolwork with a lot of help from Edward. It may surprise you to hear this but Edward is actually really bright. He has really helped me this past week; not just with my work, he is keeping me company and stopping me going stir crazy. No offence sweetheart but spending all day talking to a baby who can't talk back gets old pretty quickly.

Me and Edward have been chatting a lot, and are really getting to know each other. He is the only person that doesn't treat me any different just because I have you. We have really connected and I really like him. The thing is that he will never like me that way; no matter how close we get. The rest of the Cullen's are really nice too, they are a lot more understanding than my dad. He seems to think that it is my fault I got pregnant and that I have to just get on with it. Esme has been great; she even offers to watch you but I always decline, I want to spend as much time with you as possible.

I have let Edward in where no one else has ever been; metaphorically speaking. With him I feel so comfortable I am able to tell him almost anything and I know he won't judge me. The only thing is that he will never see me the way that I see him; to him this will only ever be friendship. He features in my dreams every night; the dreams vary but it usually ends the same with him sweeping me off my feet and us living happily ever after. That's the thing though people like me just don't get a "happily ever after".

I tried to explain that to Edward and he told me I was being silly; he said that everyone gets a happily ever after but the difference in real life is that it isn't the end. That the happily ever after is just the start of forever, that there will always be bumps in the road but things will always sort themselves out. I want to believe him I truly do; it is just there is a lot of doubt there.

Today Edward seemed a little tongue tied; like he wanted to say something but he just didn't know how to get the words out. I don't think that I have ever seen Edward this way; he always seems to calm, cool and collected.

Right now I am lying in bed with you writing this letter that you won't understand right now. I ask you whether you like Edward or not and you look at me like I am crazy. I take it that means that you like Edward as much as I do. The only problem is whether or not Edward likes us the same way.

The social workers have insisted that I go to therapy to get over what has happened to me and to help me to deal with the fact that I have had to grow up so quickly. So yesterday we went to another therapy session. You my angel was perfect; you were quiet and slept the whole time. It was really hard to talk to someone and my therapist Heidi did not even ask about anything recent. She was just asking me about family and friends. Things I like and things I don't like. She also, asked me if I knew why I find it so hard to open up. I told her I didn't know but in truth I do. When I was little I was told off for talking about my problems. I was told that I needed to stop complaining and just get on with it. That doesn't help Aimee; keeping things locked inside just makes them worse in the long run. As you grow up I want you to talk to me about everything. I want to sit down with you at the dinner table every evening and talk about our days. I want you to tell me if something is wrong because that is the only way that I can make it better.

Anyway baby girl I need to get you to bed and then I am going to hit the hay. Long day tomorrow of more studying and I want to look good for Edward tomorrow. But hey they never said life would be easy. See you soon.

Love you always and forever,

Mummy

Xxx

**Authors Note: sorry this chapter is short and has taken me ages to update but college is crazy at the moment. So I promise Edward and Bella will start to get together soon. If you guys don't mind this length chapter then I can probably update more regularly but let me know. Thank you for sticking with me and I promise I will try to be better in the future. Reviews inspire me to write so please send me some love. Xxx**


	4. Chapter 4

**Authors Note: hey everyone sorry I have been so busy I haven't had time to write. Thank you for sticking with me guys. Thanks to all those who have followed and added this story to their favourites list. Thanks for sticking with me here we go guys:**

Saturday 14th September 2011 7pm 

Evening baby girl. This week was quite eventful. Last Saturday I told you about how Edward was not his usual self and was in actual fact rather tongue tied. Well on Sunday he came over earlier than usual. We were hanging out like we normally would; we were watching a film whilst taking a break from studying. All of a sudden he switched the television off and turns to look at me. "I think we need to talk." He states. With that I begin to panic, in my history those words are never followed by anything positive.

Shaking I responded "o..o..k..a..a..y..". His eyes were trained down towards his fingers in his lap, I have to admit this is the first time I saw the vulnerable side to the so sure of himself Edward I was used too.

Eyes staying down he starts, "so I have been thinking a lot about us recently," suddenly his eyes meet mine, "and well I was thinking that as much as I like our friendship it's not enough for me anymore." With that I got up and walked away, I couldn't listen to that anymore. I stormed up here and slammed the door on him.

At the time I just thought what he had said brought forward every anxiety I had. That right there was why I did not let people get close because they just end up hurting you in the end. That is all people do is let you down, I am much better staying by myself with you. That doesn't mean that you will let me down angel, because you are my daughter and I will be proud no matter what. I am determined not to become my mother, who I could never do anything right for. So long as you try your best I will be proud. Of course there will be times I have to tell you off for not following the rules I only do it because I have you best interests at heart. Anyway I digress.

I spent the next few days sulking, ignoring Edward's calls and visits. I was determined I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of seeing me broken. The thing was that I probably should have let him explain because it would have made life a lot easier for both of us. See I was so hung up in my belief that he didn't want to be friend with me I didn't even stop to think that maybe he meant something else. Looking back if he didn't want to be my friend anymore he would not have put so much effort in to telling me that. If you are smart like I know you will be you will probably guess what he was trying to tell me. It wasn't until Thursday that I eventually talked to him and even then it wasn't through choice.

Dad was watching you Thursday evening for me whilst I took a well earned bath. I had got out of the bath and dressed in sweats. I came downstairs to get you from dad for your feed and there he was sitting in the living room watching sport with dad. I froze, before I had time to run dad announced my presence. Edward stood and looked at me. "I guess I will leave you two to it," with that dad walked out leaving me standing there with him. I looked closer at him and he was cradling you in his arms and it made him look even better. I sighed, I was trapped and we both knew it. "Look Bella the other day, I was so nervous and I am so sorry, I never meant to hurt you, everyone kept saying I needed to tell you and that you would feel the same, I guess you don't." He looked dejected, and I couldn't understand why. Had he really believed I didn't want to be his friend either?

I could feel my anger building "so you thought that I didn't want to be your friend either, trust me I would have said something sooner!" Now he is the one that looked confused.

"What do you..." he starts and then thinks again. Realisation suddenly colours his face. "That's not what I meant the other day Bella. When I said I didn't want to be friends anymore you didn't let me finish, I was going to say that I wanted to be more than friends."

He wanted to be more than friends with me? It was not a concept I was used to. No one ever picked me, especially not nice people like Edward. I was destined to spend the rest of my life with someone like my ex, someone who didn't really love me but tolerated me enough. Could it be possible that I could have someone like Edward? Or was I just setting myself up for an even bigger fall?

Me and Edward both just sat there staring at each other both not daring to speak. What did I say to him? I really wanted to be with him but I was so scared, I didn't want to be hurt and let down again because that really hurt. Scared to let someone get close because the closer they get the more painful it is when they leave. So in the end I told him just that. I cried and he held me close, whispering in my ear that he was there for me. He knew better than to promise me everything was going to be okay or that he would always be there. I hate those promises because everyone always breaks those promises.

In the end we decided we are going to take things slowly and see where they go. That leads me to why I am writing so early tonight. I have just finished getting ready for our first date. He is taking me out for dinner, dad agreed to babysit for me. I am wearing this deep blue dress and flat black pumps. I have curled my hair and put minimum make up on. I am all ready, I thought I would write now in case I don't get a chance later on. This week has been rough but hey they never said that life would be easy they just promised it would be worth it.

Sleep well sweetheart.

Mummy

Xxx

**Authors Note: sorry again about the delay college is hell and then I had Christmas. Good news is that I am off for the next week so I am hoping to update again. Please review it is nice to know people like my work. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Authors Note: so another update for you all, thanks for sticking with me **

Saturday 14th September 2011 12pm

I am home Aimee and I thought I should tell you how it went. I can sum it up in one word – amazing. He is the sweetest guy that I have ever met baby girl. Did you want to hear what happened? Of course you do, here we go then:

_He picked me up just after I finished my last letter to you. He still wouldn't tell me where he was taking me. Dad invited him in and had the father talk with him all the while cleaning his gun (apparently he had to survive it with mum so Edward needed it before he could take me out). Once we did eventually escape the house and the prying eyes of my father we set off in his car. When we arrived he walked around and opened the car door for me, something I definitely am not used to. He took me to a beautiful Italian restaurant in Port Angeles. It was a small family owned restaurant; black and white photos of an Italian family adorned the walls. It was amazing, and everything was so authentic. _

_When we went to the hostess and asked for a table for two. She is blatantly stared at him but I mean who could blame her he is gorgeous. She ignores me until she asks us to follow her and Edward wraps his arm around me and pushes me forward in front of him. She leads us to a table in the middle of a crowded area; Edward refuses the table telling her that he wants somewhere more private. She huffs but concedes. I still can't believe he refused the table; that is the sort of thing that only happens in the movies. She then begrudgingly leads us to a table behind a partition where there are only 2 other tables, both empty. He holds my chair out for me and I take a seat. The hostess hands us our menus and lets us know our waitress will be with us shortly. We were both quiet whilst we read the menu; it wasn't until the waitress cleared her throat that we noticed she was there. Just as the hostess had, the waitress was blatantly ogling Edward. She had her back to me as she asked if she could get us anything. Edward asked me if I was ready to order and when I nodded he gestured to me. Reluctantly the waitress turned around and looked at me; I order a coke and mushroom ravioli. She then turns back to Edward and leans down towards him showing her cleavage. Edward ignores it by staring at the menu as he orders, coke and lasagne. _

_We spent the time waiting for our dinner with idle chit chat. He asked about you and how I was coping with school etc. Once dinner came we decided to play 20 questions as a way of getting to know each other better. It was sweet and a great way to learn the little things about each other. Before we knew it we had finished our dinner and the restaurant was getting busy and loud. We decided to get dessert to go, and go for a walk down by the water's edge. Edward ordered chocolate cheese cake, and paid for the bill before escorting me out of the restaurant. We took a slow walk along the water front looking out at the moon reflecting on the water. We walked in relative silence for a while just enjoying the peace of the night. We stopped a short way down the path to sit and eat our cake. We managed to get in a chocolatety mess and had a laugh doing so. We began talking about our pasts and childhoods, getting to know each other better. As we walk our hands brush against each other and somehow end up wrapped around each other, with our fingers entwined. All too soon it got cold and decided to head back to the car. Driving home was a laugh and I can honestly say I have never had so much fun. He dropped me off and gave me a kiss goodbye. _

That brings me to where I am now. Sitting here trying to get the tingly feeling Edward left on my lips. I had the best time with Edward he was a true gentleman. I have never met anyone our age that treats women the way he does. I couldn't ask for a better guy and part of me wonders why he would want to be with someone like me. I don't let this doubt take over though because he does want to be with me and that is all that should matter.

Anyway baby girl it is late and just because I have a late night doesn't mean that I will get a lay in tomorrow. I am off to bed, write again soon. Oh dear that's you crying now mummy really has to go. I am so tired but they never said life would be easy they just promised it would be worth it. Speak soon.

Lots of love

Mummy

Xxx

**Authors Note: sorry the chapter is short but I thought this would be better than nothing. I am in the middle of exams so I don't know when the next update will be. I wrote this whilst taking a break from revision so you should all be grateful. Will try to update asap but I make no promises. Review as this inspires me to write whenever I can. Until next time xxx**


	6. Chapter 6

**Authors Note: I promised you more regular updates and I am trying so here is another chapter for you all. A big thanks to all those who read the last chapter, and who added my story to their alerts and favourites. An even bigger thank you to lileycullen for her kind words on the last chapter. Anyway on with the chapter:**

Saturday 21st September 2011

So it seems that our letters are becoming a weekly occurrence as opposed to daily one but I have too much to do on a daily basis. Even more now that me and Edward have started dating. We have been out twice now, one was earlier today and we took you along with us. Most people wouldn't have classed today as a date since all we did was take you to the park and then to the diner for milkshakes. The day was perfect. Me and Edward had our first sort of fight. I mean it wasn't a full on fight he just got really annoyed because I failed to mention one thing to him. It is not like it is an important day, although he debated that. So on the 13th it was my birthday, and Edward well, he got pretty stressed that I didn't tell him.

_Earlier today he brought me round a present and told me that since we had failed to celebrate on my actual birthday he was going to celebrate it today. He told me last night to be ready by 9am this morning and that he was taking the three of us out for the day. So I got us both ready for 8.45 am just incase he was early like he normally is. I was right you know, he turned up at 8.50 with a huge bouquet of flowers. As well as that he had a huge bag full of stuff. I invite him inside and he asks if he can put something in the fridge. Of course I oblige, I go to follow him into the kitchen and he stops me. "It's a surprise," he says "for your birthday." I huff but I know that there is no way I am going to argue with him. Instead I go and grab my stuff so that we can go as soon as he is ready. "It's a nice day so I thought that we could walk, it would be good for you both to get some fresh air." he shrugs as if leaving the choice up to me. I giggle "yeah walking is fine," I reply._

_We get you into your pram and hang the baby bag on the handles. With everything set we head of down the street. We start to walk down the road next to each other, normally we would hold hands but I am not really great at driving the pram yet. Eventually we reach the park. Edward laughs "I know she is too young to actually you know enjoy the park but I thought it would be nice to just walk around and I could maybe push you on the swing and it seemed child friendly and..." he is rambling and it is cute but I feel the need to stop him. "Edward, the park is fine, it is really sweet that you thought of Aimee too." I bite my lip. Edward pulls my lip from between my teeth. He winks at me and takes the pram heading towards the swings. When we reach them he parks the pram by the swings and gestures for me to take a seat. I sit on the swing and he starts pushing my higher and higher. For a short time I feel like a kid again, I feel really and truly free. Both me and Edward are laughing like kids. After a while you make yourself known not that I can blame you it is time for food. We go and sit on a bench so I can feed you, Edward gets out his camera and takes a shot. I giggle. After you are fed and burped we decide to take you on the playground. I sit on the swings with you on my lap and Edward takes tons of photos. Then I slide down the slide with you in my lap and again Edward takes photos. An old lady comes along and Edward asks if she can take a photo of the three of us together. She obliges and takes a couple of photos of all of us together. _

_After the trip to the park Edward takes us to the diner to buy milkshakes. We sit in a booth with you on my lap and Edward across from us. We have our milkshakes and laugh together. After we finish our milkshakes he leans over the table to kiss me. This is only the second time he has kissed me, but it is just as good as I remember, not that you need to know that. He checks his watch, "we need to head back now, is that okay?" I nod and we head back home. This time though Edward walks behind me, his hands on the handles of the pram as well, intwined with my own. Together we push you home and things just feel right. _

_We reach mine and I realise that Edward has something else up his sleeve. I walk in the front door and into the living room. Seven people jump out and shout surprise. Never once in my life has anyone ever thrown me a surprise party but Edward someone I have known for a few short weeks has done this for me. The party only consists of my dad, Edward's family, Edward, me and you but it is perfect. We spend the afternoon chatting and having fun. Edward disappears into the kitchen and comes back in with a cake, it even has candles on it. Everyone sings 'happy birthday', I make a wish and blow out the candles. Then Edward announces that it is time for presents. My dad has already given me his presents so that must have meant that his family must have brought me something. His parents give me their gift first, it is a photo frame. Then Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie give me their present, a box set of classic books. "Edward said you liked them" Alice says with a shrug. I give them all a hug and tell that they are indeed my favourites. Lastly is Edward's presents, he gives me a long box. I open it and in it is a beautiful charm bracelet. There is a charm that says 'mom' with my birthstone in it and a little foot on it that has Aimee's birthstone on it and her name inscribed on the back. It brings tears to my eyes, and I can't thank him enough. _

Once everyone has gone I get us both ready for bed and that is where I am now. Me and you lying in my bed whilst I write these letters to you. Part of me thinks that you will never read them, they will just upset you or you will be bored by them. Then another part of me thinks that you will understand me better, and the decisions I make are for the both of us. Also, if Edward does stay a part of our lives the way I want him to then you will understand how we came to be.

Anyway baby girl you will be awake soon for another feed and I should probably get some sleep in before you do. I love you always baby, and that is something that will never change. I will write to you again soon my sweetheart.

Lots of love always and forever,

Mummy

Xxx

**Authors Note: so there you have it another chapter. This chapter is one of the longest that I have written for this story. I will try to keep up with the regular updates for this. You will be happy to know that as of 3pm today my exams are finished for a few months. As always leave me some love in the form of a review, until next time. Xxx**


	7. Chapter 7

**Authors Note: I know I promised quick updates but this coursework is taking longer than I anticipated; the goos news is that it is nearly done. A big thank you to all those who read and an even bigger one to all those who added this to their favourites list and story alerts. A special thank you to lileycullen and Dixie.f.9 for reviewing the last chapter. **

Sunday 22nd September 2011

Afternoon Aimee, Edward is here at the moment and is currently laying next to me cuddling you. The reason for that is that this morning we were discussing how to cope with the emotions that come with being a mother. I was explaining to Edward about my letters to you and how they help me to work through my emotions. He asked if he could read them and I told him I would think about it. I mean if I allow him to read them I show him every flaw that I have. It will also, show him all the feelings that I have for him. So in the meantime I need to continue working through my emotions. My therapist wants me to start working through emotions in my past. I have decided to start at the beginning. It all started about half way through my Sophomore year...

_I was bullied a lot in Phoenix and had very few friends. I was therefore, completely shocked when the most popular guy in school asked me out. James Hunter was everything a girl looked for in a guy. He was good-looking, sporty, smart and sweet. Or so I thought. He had blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. He always wore the latest designer clothes and was always immaculately groomed. I suppose he looked the complete opposite to Edward who always looked like he just rolled out of bed in the good-looking way. James was in all of my classes and had never said so much as a word to me. _

_One day I was sitting at lunch with my two friends going over my history notes when he strutted, yes strutted over. He asked if he could talk to me in private so of course I said yes. He walked me out to an empty corridor. He gently brushed his fingers against my cheek and I remember feeling the heat rise across my face. I was blushing brightly and that thought made me blush harder. "I really like you Bella. So I was wondering if you wanted to go catch a movie sometime?" he seemed so shy and normal talking to me. Everyone accused him of being a player and a jerk. I looked into those eyes and I believed he was telling me the truth. I thought that he genuinely liked me. He was just playing me and luring me in like so many before me, most probably after me too, I just didn't know that at the time. So I agreed to go to get a movie with him. I went back to my friends and told them. They all warned me and told me to be careful, to not get too attached, that he was going to hurt me like all the others. I didn't listen, I thought I knew everything. I was wrong. _

_I spent the rest of that day with a smile on my face. I went home that night and told my mom about the date. She was happy for me but she warned me that most teenage relationships didn't last. I told her I knew that but it didn't stop me thinking it deep down. I decided that I wanted all my homework done so that when he wanted to go out I would be able to. I was on top of the world and nothing could have brought me down at that moment. The good old days huh. _

There you have it. How I met your father. Not much but we have forever to finish the story. Right now that's enough. All I want to do now is cuddle up on my bed with you and Edward. Hang on a sec Edward wants to write something to you.

**Hey Aimee. I just wanted to say that I hope that me and your mother are still together and that maybe you view me as your father. You should know that you probably don't realise it but you have the best mom in the whole wide world and you should be so grateful. Your mom has given up so much for you I hope you know that. She loves you more than you will ever understand when it would have been so easy for her to walk away. I hope you understand this. And if for any reason that I am not around anymore I want you to know that I will always love you. You can come to me at any point and I will be there to help and support you. Meeting you and your mother is one of the best things that I have ever done. I pray that we will be together as a family forever. Love you always and forever, Edward. **

I'm back Aimee. I haven't read what Edward has written but I will later once he has gone. I don't know whether we are still together when you are reading this. I do know that he is one of the greatest guys I have ever met. I will always love you my angel. You weren't planned but that doesn't make you any less wanted. You were my surprise, one of the best I have ever had. I don't care what anyone says you are most definitely not a mistake and you never will be.

I am going to go and curl up with my two favourite people. I love you baby girl always and forever.

Mommy

XXX

**Authors Note: there you have it another chapter. Hope you all liked it. I promise more Edward and Bella next time but I thought it would be nice to get a bit of Bella's background in. Good news is that my coursework is officially done so hopefully more regular updates. Reviews make me update quicker. Until next time. Xxx**


	8. Chapter 8

**Authors Note: thanks for all the continued support. A special thanks to lileycullen for her kind words. **

Saturday 28th September 2011

This past week has been crazy sweetheart but a good kind of crazy. Edward has spent most of his time with us this week which has been nice. He took us out for another date this week. We went out for pizza at the local pizza place, Pacific Pizza. It was really great, this is what happened:

_He told me he was picking us up to take us out for dinner at 7pm. I was really hesitant at first seeing as he said we were taking you with us. However, he soon reassured me the place was family friendly, yet he wouldn't tell me where we were going. I decided to dress up but still keep it a little casual. It was unseasonably warm. I dressed in black tights, a blue 50s style skirt, and a long pale pink top. I paired this with bangles and the bracelet Edward brought me for my birthday. I dressed you in a long sleeved white, a pale pink gingham pinafore dress and white tights. _

_Right on 7pm Edward was standing on the doorstep with flowers for me and a little cuddly toy for you. I let him in whilst I got you settled in your car seat. Once we got you settled in the car we set off for our unknown venue. It was only a short drive and then we pulled into Pacific Pizza. I beamed, Edward looked at me a little embarrassed. "I'm sorry that I can't afford to take you anyway nicer" he looks down. _

_"It's fine Edward, I really love pizza. Plus I wouldn't want to go anywhere fancy just for stuck up people to stare at me when she starts screaming." I pull his face to look at me. He leans in and kisses me gently. Reluctantly we pull away. Edward gets out, walks around and opens my door. I get out as he gets you out of the back. We holds you carrier in one hand and mine hand in his other; together we head into the restaurant. _

_Edward walks up to the hostess and tells her our reservation. We follow her through the restaurant till we get a nice private table by a window. We sit down and the hostess asks us if we want a highchair whilst gesturing to the carseat Edward has set on the chair next to him. "No that's fine, she's too little" I reply. The hostess acknowledges me for the first time with a look of distain. She hands us our menus and informs us our server will be with us shortly. _

_You were good whilst me and Edward decided what to order. In the end we choose to share a large pizza and have a salad each as well. For our topping we decided to go for pepperoni. The waitress walks up to us pulling her top down as she goes. I suppose that just comes with the territory of being with someone like Edward. When she reaches our table it doesn't escape either or our notice that she completely ignores me and chooses to instead talk solely to Edward. Rather than causing a scene Edward just orders for us quickly. The waitress then leaves us for a short while. _

_You had been too good all evening but as soon as you heard the nasally voice of the waitress approaching you decided to play up. Instead of your whimpers you usually do when you crave a cuddle you belt out a full on scream loud enough for the whole place to hear. Edward lifts you out of your car seat and I lean across the table to take you from him. He bats my hand away telling me that he has got this. He cradles you in his large hands close to his chest and gently rocks you in his arms. The waitress reaches our table and puts the pizza and our salads on the table. She turns to walk away not before giving you a dirty look. _

_Edward reluctantly hands you over to me as he is not as practiced at holding you one handed. I balance you on one arm and eat with the other. We chatter over dinner and despite the waitress our evening has been great. Once we have finished our pizza Edward asks the waitress for the check. "I have plans for dessert" he informs me as he guides me out of the restaurant. We get back in the car and drives the short way to where we are having dessert. We pull up at JT's Sweet Stuff. _

_Hand in hand we walk into the shop. The lady behind the counter smiles when Edward enters and waves at him. "Edward, what are you doing here you are not due to work tonight are you?"_

_Edward grins back at her."Nope Sue but I am bringing my two favourite girls here for ice-cream. Although this little one," he gestures towards the baby carrier, "cannot actually have any. However, my Bella" at this he gestures towards me, "has quite the sweet tooth." Edward settles me and you at the counter before he goes behind to make us dessert. Sue just laughs at him but doesn't stop him. He places a huge ice-cream sundae in front of me with every topping you could think of. _

_We spent the rest of the evening chatting in the ice-cream shop. Edward told me all about working there. Before we set off for home I took you into the toilets to change your nappy. When I was on my way out I overheard Edward talking to Sue about us. He was saying how much he cared for the both of us and that he truly saw a future for us. He talked about how he wants to be a dad to you and have more kids together. When he stops talking I walk out with you in arms. We head off home and then I realise that it is getting really late. He stops at my house and helps me to get in. He kisses me goodbye and tells me he will see me again really soon. I tell him that I had an incredible time with him. _

That brings me to where we are now curled up in bed together. Me and you that is, not me and Edward. I don't think that dad would let Edward stay over, at least not yet. Maybe when things get more serious. If I am being honest I can definitely see us having a future. Edward is everything that a girl could want in a guy. People may say we are young but Edward is older than me and I have never acted my age, even less so since I had you.

Anyway Princess I suppose I had better get you to bed and get some sleep myself. Edward is talking about going on another trip to the park to study tomorrow so we shall see how that goes. I really appreciate how he tries to incorporate you into our dates. He truly understands how important you are to me. Seeing him with you makes me like him that much more.

I know we didn't get to explore my future anymore tonight but it is getting late. So tomorrow I can promise more about how I managed to get to where I am. Things are so complicated but they never said life would be easy they just promised it would be worth it.

Lots of Love

Mummy

Xxxx

**Authors Note: there you have it, another chapter. Sorry this one took so long to write. Both the places they went on their date are real places in Fork. I have no idea what they are like as I have never been but they seemed appropriate. Any reviews would be much appreciated I reply to each one and they inspire me so much. Anyone got some date ideas I would really appreciate it. Until next time. Xxx**


	9. Chapter 9

**Authors Note: hey everyone. Thanks for all sticking with me. A big thanks to lileycullen and emeralgreenlove for reviewing the last chapter. **

Sunday 29th September 2011

Today was a really good day. Rather than go out today we spent the day watching films. It was a nice relaxing day after such a busy week. Edward's family has invited us to dinner next week and if I am being honest I am totally petrified. I have no idea why because I have met Dr and Mrs Cullen before and they are both really sweet. I suppose because I am Edward's girlfriend I just feel like I have more to prove to them this time. Anyway back to our nice relaxing day. Edward had plans with his family and was really upset that he couldn't spend the day with us. I assured him it was fine and to be honest it was nice. I didn't have to dress up, we spent the day in our PJs sprawled out on the sofa.

I did miss him though. Things would come on during the adverts or something funny would happen in the film and I would think about how Edward would have liked it. I am beginning to worry about how attached I am to him. I mean that is not a problem so long as we are together but what happens when we break up. I hate to be a pessimist I really do, nevertheless I cannot ignore history. This is not the first time someone has showered me with love and affection only to take it all back when he was bored. I promised you more of my story so and I intend to keep that promise. Where did we leave off? Oh yeah, here:

_I decided that I wanted all my homework done so that when he wanted to go out I would be able to. I was on top of the world and nothing could have brought me down at that moment. The good old days huh. Later that night he called me, asking if I was free the next evening to go to the cinema. Of course I agreed and this made me even happier. The whole next day I was on cloud 9, flying high. I went home from school and spent hours getting ready. I got dressed up as well as doing my hair and make-up. _

_My mum was so happy that I was finally doing something she deemed normal for a teenager – dating. She was nothing short of ecstatic when she found out who was taking me out. He was known around town for his athletic abilities and his mom was friends with my mom. When James came to pick me up he was just as charming as ever. He opened the car door for me and helped me into the car. _

_We went to the movies and he paid for the tickets. We went to see 'Life As We Know It'. We had a lovely time throughout the movie, and it still remains to be one of my favourite movies of all time. Even back then I had no idea that things would turn out to be the way it did. He complimented me all the time telling me I was pretty and sweet. Something should have twigged but it never did. _

_He dropped me off home and again was really gentlemanly. He walked me to the door and kissed me good night. The next day at school he held my hand around the corridors and sat with his arm around me at lunch. At that point in time everything was perfect. Too bad these things don't last. _

_That is enough about him right now. Maybe I should talk a little more about someone who deserves attention – Edward. When I found out about you I put the idea of dating on hold thinking that it wouldn't be possible for at least a few months. I was prepared for that, I understood it. What I was not prepared for was to meet someone like Edward and fall in love so quickly. I admit it. I am absolutely head over heels in love with him. That was totally unexpected. _

_For a while at least it seems as though life is settling down for us. We have a stable home, I am on my way to getting my qualifications, and we have a great guy who cares about us. I am not saying life is perfect because we still have our challenges but life is better than it has been in a while. They never said life was easy they just promised it was worth it – and it definitely is. _

_Lots of love _

_Mummy _

_Xxx _

_**Authors Note: a little shorter than recent ones but I am trying to keep updating more regularly whilst revising for my exams. Hope you enjoyed. Don't forget to review and let me know what you think. Xxx **_


	10. Chapter 10

**Authors Note: Here is the next chapter, thanks to all those still reading. A special thanks to lileycullen for reviewing the last chapter. **

Saturday 5th October 2011

I went to therapy this morning. My therapist asked me about how things were and we talked about my relationship with Edward. She let me talk and then when I had finished she smiled at me and said "he sounds like a lovely young man. I do have one question though." I agreed with her and then frowned wondering what on earth she wanted to ask. "Why is it that you doubt your relationship so much? As I said before he sounds like he is a lovely young man and he doesn't seem to have given you any indication that he is going to leave you, so why worry so much?"

I just looked at her and cried. I have honestly never cried so much. I let out every fear I have with regards to my relationship with Edward. I explained how the only relationship I had ever had ended with me being a broken hearted, teenage, single mother. I am not saying that I regret you or being with your father because that gave me you. I am just scared to get too attached to Edward in case my heart gets broken. I guess I am just putting walls up around my heart to protect it. Once I had got everything out she handed me a tissue and wrapped her arms around me. I just sat there and just cried my eyes out. I kept thinking about everything and how I had written Edward off purely based on my past experiences with men. Edward had never given me any indication that he was going to leave me or that he was with me out of sympathy.

After the tears subsided I was able to see things with a clearer perspective. I decided I was going to go home, sit down and have a chat with Edward about everything. I think I would be kidding myself if I thought my insecurities would go away over night but knowing Edward he would help me work through him. Edward had been nothing but sweet, caring and honest with me and all I had done was shield my heart.

I asked my therapist how I can go about opening my heart up again after all that happened. She smiled and told me that opening up my mind is the best way. I looked at her completely and utterly confused. She laughed at my expression and explains that she meant that the best way to open my heart up to Edward is for me to tell him everything. When she says everything she means everything. So that is what I am going to do. No more avoiding awkward questions. No more hiding anything from him. If we want to have a long term relationship we need to have complete honesty. She told me to ask him about anything that may make him uncomfortable to talk about as this will help me to understand that I am not alone.

I left my appointment feeling like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. For the first time in months I could hold my head up high and smile a genuine smile. Edward was picking me up, we are going back to mine so I can get changed and then the three of us are going to his parents for dinner. I got into the passenger side of his car with a huge smile on my face. He kissed me and then smiled back at me "what has you so happy today?" he asked. Before I would have questioned why he wanted to know but after today I know he is saying it because he actually cares what the answer is.

"Today just went really well. She helped me to put things into perspective. I really want to have a chat with you later but I just want to say that I am sorry for shutting you out." He went to interrupt me but I stopped him. "Please just let me say this. I really care about you and I know you care about us too. My past experiences just made me hesitant to let anyone else in. I know this isn't going to happen overnight however, I am trying so hard to open up to you more. I don't want to ruin tonight because tonight is about us. Saying that I would really like to lay everything out for you tomorrow." I bit my lip and met his eyes.

He smiled at me reassuringly and replied "that sounds like a great idea. How about we make a picnic and go to the park again. You really enjoyed it there last time we went and we will be out the way of nosy parents too."

I laughed and agreed with him. By that time we had pulled up at my house. We got out the car and Edward went to the living room to wait for me. I ran up to my room to change and attempt to tame my hair. I went to the bathroom and washed my tear stained face. I threw on my white skirt and deep blue tank, then scrunched my hair, pinning back the front. I then quickly changed you into a pretty dress and threw everything in the baby bag. I headed downstairs just in time to overhear Edward and my dad talking. I heard my dad telling Edward to be careful with me as I have been hurt in the past. He explained to Edward that it is not his story to tell but he can tell that Edward is different and that maybe just maybe we might go the distance.

In that moment I could see it. Me in a white dress, Edward in a tux and you in a pretty little dress. I could see it all, a house with a big garden and more children. Edward will make an excellent father, of that I am sure. In that moment I knew that things will work out with Edward. No more waiting for things to go wrong. No more living for the here and now. I want that vision and I am going to try my hardest to make sure I get it. I finally realised what everyone has been trying to tell me. I deserve to be happy. I did nothing wrong. With that in mind I held my head high and walked into the living room. I decided I was going to go to dinner at Edward's house and make sure his parents loved me.

When we reached Edward's house his parents were there to greet us. We went in and sat in the living room with his brother, sister and their boyfriend/girlfriend. Edward excused himself to go and have a chat with his parents and left me sitting there on my own. Alice came over and sat next to me and started chatting away. She was telling how she knew we would be good friends. She asked if she could hold you and I said yes. She cuddled you close to her body chatting away to you. Edward came back and sat next to me wrapping his arms around me.

Soon Edward's parents called us into the dining room to eat. Rosalie, Edward's brother's girlfriend, still hasn't said a word to me. Everyone chatted over dinner I just kept quiet. Edward leaned into me and whispered into my ear "are you okay?" I just nodded. After dinner went a lot better I chatted to Edward's parents and siblings. Everyone seemed to get along and it was just Rosalie who seemed to be hostile towards me. At 9 I asked Edward to take me home so that I could get you down for the night.

That's all for tonight sweetheart. They never said life was easy, they just promised it was worth it. Until next time.

Mummy,

Xxx


	11. Chapter 11

**Authors Note: Next chapter is here. The story is nearly at its end now. A special thanks to: ****emeralgreenlove****, lileycullen, and Dixie.f.9 for their kind words. **

Sunday 6th October 2011

Today I told Edward everything. When I say everything I mean everything. I told him all about your father. I told him about why I find it hard to trust him. I cried and he held me. Not once did he go to walk away. It feels as if a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders now that he knows. I suppose all that is left to do is to tell you the rest of the story. Where was I when we last left off. Oh right there:

_He dropped me off home and again was really gentlemanly. He walked me to the door and kissed me good night. The next day at school he held my hand around the corridors and sat with his arm around me at lunch. At that point in time everything was perfect. Too bad these things don't last._

_He took me out on more dates and things got more serious between us. He kept pressuring me to do things I didn't want to but in the end I gave in, what was the harm right. The thing is sweetie is that is how I ended up with you. That is not the worst of it though, that I could have handled. A few days after that night I went round to James house to see him. I knocked on his door and his mom sent me up to his room. I got to the top of the stairs I heard voices coming from his room. I couldn't believe he would do this to me. I walked in on his room and found him in a rather compromising position with some blonde cheerleader from school. I was devastated. I ran from him. He tried to call me that night to talk but I refused to talk to him. I avoided him at school. I was hurt, no one had ever betrayed me like that and it truly hurt. Not that I loved James, far from it actually. Love it what I feel for Edward, for you, for my parents. It was just a school girl crush that I had on James. _

_A few weeks later I had no choice but to talk to James again because I found out that I was having you. I had already made the decision to keep you despite what James had wanted. When I told him he went crazy, screaming and shouting at me. Telling me that you weren't his, that there must have been a mistake. Then he did something I never thought would happen. He hit me across the face the then pushed me over. I think he would have kept going but his parents walked in at that moment. I just remember crying and his mom holding me. They took me home and I just sobbed my heart out into my pillow. _

_When I went to school James had spread around that I had been cheating on him and that I was pregnant with someone else's child. That was when the victimisation started. Everywhere I went people called me names and threatened me. I even got beat up again. That was when my mom said enough was enough and contacted the school. In the end it was decided that it would be better for me to stop attending school. That didn't stop it though, they started coming by the house. That was when I was sent to live with Charlie. Away from it all. _

There you have it baby girl. Edward held me in his arms whilst I told him all this. He told me that he will always be here, holding my hand, every step of the way. I tell Edward that if I find it hard to trust him it is not his fault, just the way I was hurt in the past. Edward tells me that he understands, and that he can be patient.

After everything was out in the open me and Edward enjoyed out picnic in the park. The sun was shining and it was relatively warm considering the time of year. After we had eaten we went for a walk around the duck pond in the middle of the park. We strolled along fingers entwined pushing the pram around. Edward and I also, discussed the future. We both want to get married and have more children. What's more is that Edward said if we were to get married and if it was okay with me he wants to adopt you.

I feel like I am finally free and can actually move on with my life after James. Now that the awkward conversation was out of the way I feel as if our relationship can really move forward. No one can know what the future holds but with Edward by myself I know I can face anything. There will be trials but they never said life would be easy they just promised it would be worth it.

All my love

Mummy

Xxx

**Authors Note: The next letter will be a letter from Edward followed by a series of letters from the future. I can't believe it is nearly over. Until next time. Xxx **


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